A Love Letter to Hipsters and Co.

Dear Hipsters and Co.,

You're doing a thing. OK I get that. Feel free to express yourself in any way you wish. Just know that the small amount of laughter you bring into our lives does not make up for the enormous amount you annoy us. Not even close. I know most of you spend a lot of time looking in a mirror to make sure you get your hair to have that perfect slant with a touch of I don't care about the world, but for all that time you just don't seem to understand that this is how you look: Hipster/Emo Walking. Notice how everyone is laughing at him...just a hint.

While I might be lumping you all into one category, suck it that's what you get. I don't care if you were the first person to see a band in concert, buy their t-shirt or have their illegitimate love child you still suck, that band probably sucks and you're wasting your life (unless you are a music producer, then you're pretty good at your life and your job), but since you're not stop sucking so much. To put this in perspective you spend hours/days trying to be the first person to hear a band that maybe a thousand people will ever hear/enjoy listening to. Can you name the first person that ever heard the Beatles? No you can't because they don't matter. If they didn't hear them first some other irrelevant person would have. Most people can't name the person who shot John Lennon (Mark David Chapman) and nobody will remember you.

Hipster, Emo, Indie or whatever you define yourself as is a fad that will pass (this doesn't apply to 'Goth' because everyone knows vampires are immortal and so are fashion trends based on them). Being sad in order to look cool, wearing black clothes and make up, going to see crappy no-name bands and standing around smoking as a hobby are fine, but doing them just because a bunch of equally sucky people do is stupid and you suck at life. In 10 years these trends will have gone the way of Disco, Member's Only Jackets and Pogs and you will look back and say man I sucked at life back then so some friendly advice, tone it down a little bit or take it to the next level and shoot a famous musician. Either way will work fine. Here's you hoping you suck a little less at life in the future.